


I'm Doing it for You (I'm Doing it for Me)

by AngeNoir



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath, Aftermath of Torture, Caretaking, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 23:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4584414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngeNoir/pseuds/AngeNoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's known Tony for almost 30 years now. 30 years of constant heart attacks and worry, of love and admiration. He's been through 5 successful kidnappings and maybe it's a little late, but he knows what he wants, and he's going to do it. With or without Tony's permission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Doing it for You (I'm Doing it for Me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [andrea_deer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/gifts).



> so I'm not super sure if this is what you meant, and I didn't get as much torture/angst in it as I thought I would, but the story seems cohesive, seems whole. Seems solid as it is. That being said, I'm sorry if it doesn't match what you were looking for. x.x;;

James landed on the balcony and the disassembling units undid his armor with a bit more speed than usual. He barely noticed it; he was focused on walking, almost running forward, heart in his throat. “JARVIS—” he began, and he was kinda proud of how steady his voice was even if he felt as if he was shaking apart inside, but JARVIS, as always, was one step ahead of him.

“Sir is currently within the common room, but he will need to shower and change his clothes shortly.”

The words steadied James, and he took a moment to pause and take a deep breath. “He’s gonna give me a heart attack before I’m fifty,” he said, and his voice was dry and shaking only a little.

“Sir says the same thing about you sometimes,” JARVIS said, and that could have been cutting, especially considering the friction between James and Tony over the military and James’ continued involvement in the military, but instead it was soft and reassuring.

More composed, James resumed walking – walking this time, in a calm fashion – and went down the stairs to the general floor where the Avengers were still gathered, still a little too keyed up after this mission. Natasha’s eyes met James’ first, and she smiled. He’d been around the Avengers enough to read the weariness in her smile and exhaustion in the lines of her shoulders. He watched the team – his team, still, even if he was more part-time than anything – slowly move around one another in patterns they’d learned through trial and error, but his eyes kept being drawn to one person sitting in the middle of the couch.

Tony’s shoulders were narrow, rounded, and trembling, just a little. His hair was matted and filthy, and his hands lay docile in his lap, unmoving. From the doorway, James couldn’t hear Tony’s voice, and it struck him of how wrong that was – how Tony forced himself into the spotlight as naturally as breathing, how Tony was always loud, always mobile, dominating conversations and attentions alike almost as an accident. Early in their relationship, James had resented that, had resented a charismatic sixteen-years-old kid’s ability to hog the limelight while James, at twenty, was shy and reticent. It took only three months for Tony’s personality to become something reassuring instead of grating.

Now, after nearly thirty years being in each other’s orbit in some capacity, he missed Tony’s personality and chatter acutely more and more each day he was away. It was becoming harder to justify his reasons to remain in the military part-time.

“Rhodes! I didn’t know you’d be here today.”

James glanced away from Tony to meet Steve’s startled glance. “Hey, Captain.”

“Rhodey’s here?” Tony said, and James ached at the thready sound of Tony’s voice. As Tony attempted to turn around – and failed – James winced and stepped down around the couch.

“Hey, Tones,” he said, smiling a little. “You look like shit.”

He really did. Captivity had not been easy on him, though at least this time there was no other accessories embedded in his skin.

It was sad that that was the standard of Tony’s captures, but this was the fifth time Tony had been captured since James had met him in the MIT lab all those years ago. The standard used to be ‘at least Tony was pissed off instead of scared’ but Afghanistan… changed all that.

“I feel like shit,” Tony said, voice croaking a little on the last word, but one corner of his mouth tugged up in a tired grin. “Man, I thought you were still on some base somewhere running maneuvers.”

“And miss seeing your ugly mug?” James said gently, bending down a little to be more at Tony’s eye-level. “Let’s get you cleaned up some, huh? Shower in your own area, change your clothes?”

Tony looked around at the other Avengers – those he could see; behind the couch was Vision and Wanda, in the kitchen. Natasha nodded a little at Tony. “You could do with some deodorant, at least,” she said teasingly. “And we’re all pretty exhausted. You should go to bed.”

After a few minutes, Tony sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

Before Tony could do anything, James put his hand out. “You wanna let me do something since I couldn’t be with the team when they got you back?”

“Please, I did most of the work myself,” Tony grumbled, but he grabbed James’ hand and leaned heavily on James as he stood up. This close, James could definitely tell Tony reeked – but he could also see burns and bruises on his neck leading down into the dingy shirt.

Trying to keep it from being obvious that he was gritting his teeth, he gently – and slowly – led Tony out of the living room and to the elevator.

“I know we mentioned showers, and that you don’t like baths, but you think you can stand a bath this time?” James asked once JARVIS closed the elevator doors. “You just got back and you’ve been gone for three weeks. You don’t look too hot right now.”

“Really?” Tony said, leaning his head on James’ shoulder and sighing. “I always look hot. Don’t you think I’m hot?”

“I always think you’re hot, Tony, but you need some rest,” James said, pressing a small kiss to Tony’s forehead.

“Mmm. That’s why I like you best, sugarbear. Always did.”

Those words played over in James’ head as he helped Tony into the penthouse, and then into a bath. He thought about it as he gently, carefully rubbed water into Tony’s scalp, humming under his breath as Tony winced and shifted, hands gripped as tightly as possible to the edges of the bath.

Picking Tony up and out of the bath was too easy. James carefully helped Tony balance on his feet – Tony was really wobbly now, and his eyes were drooping shut – and patted Tony dry.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to find you, Tones,” James murmured to Tony’s knees, pressing a little closer to Tony so Tony could lean against him a little more.

Tony’s hand rested gently on top of James’ shoulder. “Hey there, sweetums,” he said quietly, almost whispering. “Don’t feel bad. Honestly. I pretty much already got myself out before the Avengers came swooping in.”

James stood up and cupped Tony’s elbows, steadying the younger man. Carefully, he leaned forward and captured Tony’s lips. It was slow and thorough, and Tony let out a soft moan, pressing closer to James’ chest.

Then James pulled back, moving a hand to Tony’s face. “I’m thinking of retiring from the military.”

Tony blinked in confusion. “What?”

“I wasn’t there for you in Afghanistan, and then the fiasco with the War Machine that I was a dick in but you were pretty much a dick too, so – and then I was stuck training wet-behind-the-ears kids while you risked your life – you flew a nuke into space! – and I just—”

Tony pulled away, nearly stumbling as his knees threatened to give out. “No, no, don’t put this on me. I’m not going to make you stop your job in the military, we discussed this—”

“Tony—” James began.

The first sign of real distress and shock was on Tony’s face, eyes wide and tearing up. “We discussed this, Rhodey, we did, and I don’t want to make you change I have _never_ wanted to make you change—”

He tripped and nearly went down – James leaped forward and caught him, carefully guided him out of the bathroom and onto the bed, rubbing his thumb soothingly over a patch of unmarked skin. “No, no, it’s okay, I need you to calm down. This isn’t me changing – okay, it is. But if I’m gonna be completely honest I’ve thought of doing this since I… really, since the Mandarin, and you nearly dying. Since I joined the Avengers. Since Pepper left, since – so long, Tony.” Drawing the blankets over Tony’s thin, nude form and then dragged a soothing hand over Tony’s chest, cautious of possible wounds. “It’s okay. It’s not – it’s partly because of this, because I feel bad, because it seems every time you’ve needed me in the past I’ve never been there except _maybe_ that mess with Ultron. I wasn’t even there for the Kree ship, or for the fire. I just—” James paused, staring a bit too intently at Tony’s abdomen instead of his face.

“Hey. Hey, Rhodey. Rhodey-kins.”

James looked up, meeting Tony’s solemn gaze.

“Look, I’m not going to – tell you what to do. But the military, it’s something you’ve wanted for your whole life,” Tony whispered. “You wanted it in MIT, you were ecstatic you got into the Air Force, you – I can’t take that from you.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m giving it up,” James murmured. “I’ve given a lot of my life to the military. I think I’ll be okay.”

Even pale, sickly looking, bloodshot eyes, bruised and looking like a drowned rat, Tony still could radiate joy and excitement. “I’d – man, Jim. I can’t – that’s amazing. I’d definitely be happy to know you’re safe and around, you know?”

James smiled and patted Tony’s thigh delicately. “I know. Now you get some rest, and let me figure out what doctor’s orders you’re avoiding, hmm?”

Tony immediately became more serious. “No, no, Rhodey, no doctor’s orders, I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“Uh-huh,” James murmured, bending down to kiss Tony’s chapped lips one more time. “Get some rest, Tones. I’ll be here when you wake up.”


End file.
